Coming to terms with what my blog says about me

I have to be honest. I never saw myself blogging about fashion or nails or those sorts of things. I saw crafts and creativity and photography. So I want to ensure that there is no mean intent when I say this: I don’t really like what my blog says about me & my life.

My life vision

I thought my life would be professional and creative and successful and independent, but I’m living back home with no career and no plans for the future. (Or at least that’s how it feels.) I’m essentially just waiting for my boyfriend to find out where he’ll be working next year, so I can plan on moving there with him. I never thought I’d be the ‘follow a guy around’ kind of gal. I’m more of a ‘take it or leave it’ kind. So when I say I’m a little disappointed with where I am right now, I think that’s a fair assessment. Not to mention I’m scared that I’m here, and will never escape these feelings of ill-content.

What my blog says about me

I want my blog to show that I’m successful, doing what I want, being artsy, and an all-around bad ass. Basically, I want it to show some kind of perfect life that others may look up to, or be envious of, but not where I consider myself to be right now.

Here I am blogging about looking good for someone else, and taking pride in your appearance. This isn’t me! I mean, I love to look good. But I’m a busy woman and half the time I can’t be bothered to put on more than jeans and a tank top. If I don’t do my hair and make up, I can pass for 18. Or younger. Fashion isn’t some passion of mine, it’s just something I like to explore.

I’m not trying to commit to any sort of niche for my blog. I’m OK writing about things here and there. It’s just that I’m finding I have less and less authority on the topics that I’m really interested in, and more and more information on topics that I consider to be superfluous, never going to get me anywhere. Nothing unique.

Coming to terms with reality

What I’m coming to realize is that sometimes blogging is just a test of commitment, a sharing of consciousness, and an opportunity to relate to another. If I stop thinking about the people I know who read it, and what they might think about the sometimes shallow topics I write about, maybe I’ll begin to feel that contributing something to the world takes spilling out our thoughts and photos – the good and the bad. Sharing what we’re doing, even if we’re not where we want to be. We don’t have to be perfect all the time, or even most of the time.

What my blog says about me shouldn’t define my life. This blog is a part of me, not all of me. My blog may not show a perfect life that viewers flock to, in an effort to make their lives as ideal as the content I share. It is, however, a pretty accurate representation of what I take pleasure in these days, and for now that’s OK. :)